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An Original Piece of Art.
♥ DeS =]
16 YrS YOUNG
D.O.B ~ 9 FeB
AqUaRiuS
Ex HaI~SiAn/ (1e3-2e3-3e1-4e1 '10) BaNd AlUmNi-TuBiSt/ PrEfEcT - AdViSoR/ MemBEr Of E501 <33 Blue lover<33 
Fun.Laughter.Peace.Joy.Amour.
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Friday, June 10, 2011 @ 11:40 PM yea. i know im back. but im not gonna post much anyway. this is like my emo blog post. read it if you want.... dont waste your time if you dont... sian. jsut feel as if i regretted making my choices. and i just feel too afraid to make anymore choices.. for the fear of... well... not being able to accomplish. in life, it's all about competition... dont give the look *no it isn't* look cuz its really a lie. well.. in a design related field, it IS about competition. you lose out if your designs are not up to standard simply cuz others are better. people say to follow your heart and not your brain (well... mostly not) but how true is that? i mean you gotta think of the circumstances too. your heart may say one thing but your circumstances says otherwise. then which should you choose to follow? either one can cuz you to suffer. following your heart may make you suffer due to your circumstances. following your brain may make you haate yourself cuz you're not enjoying anything. then what? problems are piling.. but solutions are not. its kinda frustrating. sometimes its easy to encourage others.. and tell them that they can do it... but when you're in the same situation... it's kinda hard to believe what you have said. if only encouragements serve as a promise and an assurance of 90-100%... how much better could life be. im so losing faith in myself. i dun know if i can be a good interior designer. idk if i can achieve and be successful. competition. demand. market. pay. job. further studies. family. finances. passion. grades. love. wants. needs. wishes. dreams. hopes. creativity. ideas. worries. fear. doubt. so much going on in my head. sigh. what's life if it was the way you want it to be. if you can do wahtever you like forever. to love what you do and yet, not feel stressed bout it. to know your future is blissful and filled with roses. ut like they always say, even roses have thorns. each challenge and trial is a mean of expanding my capacity. but how much more can i expand. i just feel so scared to make anymore decisions. idk anymore. seeing the JC people makes me doubt myself. ahve i taken the right path. maybe i should be in JC. IDK. |
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Sunday, April 17, 2011 @ 10:07 PM just realised a great singer! Sang "You are for me" yesterday during P&W! super LOVE that song! ^^ made me feel all lurved again~ heheee! anyway! tomorrow's the 1st day of school! i have mixed feelings though. firstly, i was just walking home yesterday after all the fellowshipping. and a thought came to me. well, it came to me when i was going svc too.. and after i ran yesterday and was slowly waling to cool down. ANYWAY! i was thinking mostly about myself. i realised that i don't feel like myself anymore. something bout me's changing and i feel lost. Like i've changed into a diff person! :C not that happy. like i've treated people i dont know more as a stranger? and treated people i know as.. well.. maybe a like a stranger too? i DONT KNOW? i just feel like i've grown further away from my friends.. :C and i didnt go for the FOC too. im just scared that everyone would've formed a clique or something before me. and then i'll be kinda left out. im really really scared :/ after listening to the song, i feel kinda more peaceful? but still... i really really scared that history repeats itself! is having friends before.. a good thing or a bad thing? because when you move on in life, and your good friends become distant.. you'll feel even more lonely than what you remember.. isnt that even more sad and bitter-like.. you'll feel cold and sad. dont get me wrong, im not emo-ey and stuff.. im just afraid! sigh. i have to learn to let go yea? the thing is.. i DONT KNOW if i've already let go of my past stuff. neither do i know if im ready to accept new things. stubborn as i am, i dislike changes! i dislike new things. things that i dont know about nor have confidence in. i really miss a lot of thing. im afraid that even the closest friends of mine become distant. im afraid that even my closest friends become strangers within a few months or years. after all, my friends are what makes my life so precious and lovely! but im real glad that school's starting. at least it gives me a reason to do something! after all, i feel all lifeless without anything to look forward to really. maybe sch's not bad. although i'll feel more stressed up all over again. maybe that familiar feeling will come back. maybe~ even the closest of all friends
will turn into strangers someday if we do not put in the effort to meet and talk to them. but it's a two way thing. both party's gotta put in the effort. am i willing? and are you willing to keep this friendship going? |
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011 @ 11:14 AM  even during rainy days, i choose to sing. everyday seems like every other day. i've lost track of time.. seriously. it seems like i'm just going through the motion, no purpose, no nothing. GOSH! i just want a LIFE! sigh! a huge part of me doesn't want school to start though. a small part of me yearns to start school, to give myself a little purpose and a goal to achieve. after all, it is often when we don't have a goal that we will slowly, but surely, rot and die... yet, what sort of goal or purpose will i have this year? one that i like? a goal that i will definitely enjoy chasing after? maybe? all i know is that i found a love for drawing. for creating. for just trying out new methods. for imagining. for penning (sp?) down my thoughts through drawing and painting (water colour paints). a part of me desires to just draw.. to show that simple drawings, and most importantly, the feelings put into your drawings can make one smile :) or cry :'( simply put it... to express your feelings and thoughts through the drawings without them being all art-ish and complicated! i'd rather let people bluntly (is that the right word?) see/know what i feel, than to let them guess. isn't that what we want in life? to people know what we are feeling than to let them guess? when we are angry, we are angry! >:C when we feel sad, we just want others to acknowledge and empathize, not pity us. :C when we are happy, we want to share our joy with the whole wide world! :D we are who we are, and we want other to know us as ourselves! lol. am i making sense? i don't know. oh wells. i guess, when i draw something that shows i'm happy/excited/glad, just seeing my drawing makes me even more happy! it's like an assurance that i'm not dreaming! when im sad/scared/afraid, i draw to get rid of it. i guess.. for the rest of my poly life, i'll learn to appreciate design as a way of expressing my thoughts and feelings. Truly, i have never learnt so much in just 2 weeks. more like a day actually. Really treasure that. And I am moving on to experimenting with just a black pen, a sketch book and occasionally, water colour paints! hope my friend taking art could teach me more about using other mediums (is this the right word)/materials to draw/design! im soo excited for what i will be learning this year! really found my friend's "365 project" very inspiring. it showed me that a small goal/objective in mind can really make everyday of your life awesome! Well, she's my ex classmate and future schoolmate. and she's gonna venture into photography! :D to sum it all up, she's awesome! go take a look!- http://repty.tumblr.com/ Time seemed to stop
When we are goal-less, When we have no objectives in mind, When we lose our purpose. Then, we will slowly but surely Die. Don't let time stop. Keep on searching for a purpose. Small or big, It doesn't matter. What matters is keeping your life in motion, finding a purpose to live each day. :D |
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Monday, April 11, 2011 @ 11:09 AM instrumental songs that bring out the deepest thoughts. hi guys! i know it's been loooong! haha i think people thinks it's dead.. but oh wells.. this is a site just to express my thoughts and views i guess? well.. lotsa things have happened since the last post. DPA PPP and SDP. all in all, it was fun and enjoyable.. yet i still cant get used to it. has staying in HSC been a little too.. long for me to learn to adapt to something new? :( well.. all i can say is that the new TP students that i met up with are no doubt fun people.. but they give a different feel to what HSC ppl give.. it just seems all too different. which of course, makes me miss the 4e1 people A LOT! that's why i dont want to miss any opportunity to meet up with the e1 peeps during class outing etc! maybe it's a way to get back into the comfort zone. but how much comfort can i get now anyway? everyone's starting a new "life" in their new schools! new subjects (which are TOTALLY different from mine) and new friends.. sometimes, talking to them can be a little difficult due to the differences.. kinda sad yea? sigh~ sometimes, looking back into the past seems so great. sometimes, you never wish that time would past. sometimes, you think that it's okay to go back to the past even if it meant studying like crazy all over again. I seriously don't mind! i just wish that things can be like the past.. yea okay.. i can be a bit selfish here.. oops sorry? but i'd really like to go back to the past when we have so much more things in common than nowwww. when the differences are getting larger/wider! :( sometimes, i wonder if i've made the wrong choices. what is right and what is wrong? is there a clear line that defines right and wrong, just like white and black? or is there a "grey" in between? the one that says maybe you're right, but also wrong? and am i regretting whatever decisions i've made? I guess all i know is that sometimes, i can be afraid of what happens in the future. what happens 1 hour after that, 1 day, 1 month, 1 year after that! afraid that i wont get along with people. afraid that even the closest friends i have will get distant as time pasts. afraid that people forget. afraid that things will be totally different. and i guess it's not wrong to be afraid. it's moving on, starting all over again and accepting the fact that things change.. that's what matters most. Yet, is that possible for me? I really don't know. All i can say is that i'm still clinging on the past. not fully, but partially clinging on to what i used to have. hoping that somehow, things can be similar.. familiar! maybe it will happen, maybe not. who knows? Moving on. That's it. Moving on. what's my next move? |
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Friday, February 11, 2011 @ 4:19 PM hi! :D i'm back! gosh the past few days had been... fun? haha!  "put your wishes into the memories you do not want to forget." ef- a tale of memories well, so CNY at my cher's house.. great crowd, great fun!
haha! had a really great time there mann... love this group of people ttm! and really missing them now! gosh poly sch life just isnt the same now. i wonder when's the next class outing! CANT WAIT! :D well, poly DPA stuff has started! kinda sian though.. it's just different from sec sch friends. something is just different lahhh... like the HSC culture feel is gone should i say? hmm... it makes me feel like all pri school again.. and i shan't say what i felt like.. i just feel like i don't belong man... i don't know~ *shrugs* oh wells. i just wish that there were more HSC ppl.. still trying to stay in my comfort zone huh. long distances pull us apart. it kills. |
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Thursday, February 10, 2011 @ 12:55 AM so many things that i wanna say.. but im just too tired to..
well, tomorrow maybe? just let ya listen to some calm music :D LOL! isn't it nice. wish i can have Ef -a tale of memories AND melodies soundtrack albums... |
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Saturday, February 5, 2011 @ 10:19 AM Memories. There are memories that we choose to forgot, and others we choose to remember forever. However, are there memories we choose to have, but are unable to get. And at what cost and what sacrifice would you make just for them? hi people! :D it's been CNY for 3 days! yea! enjoyed the food during reunion dinner, and GOSH thwe goodies! yummmmy! :D had losta fun with cousins ( :DDD ) tooo! haha! sadly, fri and today's not that great! met all the distant relatives on fri (BOREDOM!) but im most sad about today! :C we're supposed to visit our teacher (and one of my most fav teacher btw) but i've gotta go visit someone else with my parents. got a bad scolding from my dad too cuz of that D: and now, i cant go :C aww mann.. been looking forward to this day since 2009, when we first asked our teacher about that. PLUS, i really really wanna spend some time with my friends! it's just like before, i just can't seem to let go! my circle of friends is like my comfort zone. darn! plus i just wanna spend more time with my friends bah? this could be my last moment kinda thing mann.. sigh.. don't get me wrong! i'm not always emo-ish! it's just that.. well, i tend to write down what i'm feel on my blog. since no one i know reads this often ^^ wheee! i can be happy too ya know! :D sigh.. but i'm rather disappointed with the situation and stuff. sigh. can't do anything about it so i'll just let things be. hope 4e1 will enjoy themselves at cher's house! byebye :D let me not be the person who dampens the mood. Instead, let me be someone who brings joy to all. |