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Friday, June 10, 2011 @ 11:40 PM

yea. i know im back. but im not gonna post much anyway. this is like my emo blog post. read it if you want.... dont waste your time if you dont...

sian. jsut feel as if i regretted making my choices.
and i just feel too afraid to make anymore choices.. for the fear of... well... not being able to accomplish.
in life, it's all about competition... dont give the look *no it isn't* look cuz its really a lie.
well.. in a design related field, it IS about competition. you lose out if your designs are not up to standard simply cuz others are better.
people say to follow your heart and not your brain (well... mostly not) but how true is that?
i mean you gotta think of the circumstances too. your heart may say one thing but your circumstances says otherwise. then which should you choose to follow? either one can cuz you to suffer.
following your heart may make you suffer due to your circumstances. following your brain may make you haate yourself cuz you're not enjoying anything. then what?
problems are piling.. but solutions are not. its kinda frustrating.

sometimes its easy to encourage others.. and tell them that they can do it... but when you're in the same situation... it's kinda hard to believe what you have said.
if only encouragements serve as a promise and an assurance of 90-100%... how much better could life be.

im so losing faith in myself.
i dun know if i can be a good interior designer.
idk if i can achieve and be successful.
competition.
demand.
market.
pay.
job.
further studies.
family.
finances.
passion.
grades.
love.
wants.
needs.
wishes.
dreams.
hopes.
creativity.
ideas.
worries.
fear.
doubt.

so much going on in my head.
sigh.



what's life if it was the way you want it to be.
if you can do wahtever you like forever.
to love what you do and yet, not feel stressed bout it.
to know your future is blissful and filled with roses.

ut like they always say, even roses have thorns.

each challenge and trial is a mean of expanding my capacity. but how much more can i expand. i just feel so scared to make anymore decisions.

idk anymore.
seeing the JC people makes me doubt myself. ahve i taken the right path. maybe i should be in JC. IDK.