♥ DeS =]
15 YrS OlD YOUNG
D.O.B ~ 9 FeB
AqUaRiuS AniMeLurVeR<33
Ex-CoRaLiTe
Ex-CO MemBeR
HaI~SiAn
1e3-2e3-3e1
BaNd MemBEr-TuBiSt
PrEfEcT
MemBEr Of E501 <33
Blue lover<33
went for dental checkup at NDC.. pffft.. woke up a little late cuz i think i went back to sleep or something..
reached that place and it's like super scary lor =S
the waiting part was the worse! actually... no.... that wasnt the worse..
went to take the X-ray thingy.. quite cool!
ermm.. then waited for the doctor/dentist..
it appeared that i not only have 1 impacted tooth.. i have 2(!) on each side.. and the worst thing is.. they are my wisdom teeth!!
so, i gotta pluck out one of them soon (not the "impacted" tooth).. and the other impacted tooth prob next year or the year after! =[[[[
then i gotta get my braces... FREAKING BRACES! and the doc gave me 2 options.. well.. 1 optional option.. the necessary one is the braces only by the side of my lower jaw to reposition my wisdom tooth.. so you wont be able to see the braces even it i smile! (i hope? :S) the other option is to get FULL braces.. that means NOT only plucking out like.. 1 tooth.. but total.. bout 5? FREAKING 5!!!! that's because my teeth is "protruding " outwards a little.. not to the extent of looking like a total freak.. i still look okay without the full braces thing... the braces only make them look nicer... =_=
ok... ... ...
there are a few things to consider here: 1) the awfully painful experience of plucking 1 tooth is like crazy enough, let alone 5? 2) i'll be missing some teeth to reposition my remaining teeth to take up the space of the teeth that has been plucked out.. meaning i'll be losing some teeth to look "nicer"? 3) i won't be able to enjoy some LOVELY nice food which i take for granted.. pffft! (I LOVE FOOD!) 4) i have to spend bout 2-3 years with braces? ugleeeeeeeeeeeeeee D: 5) the cost of the whole thing is like a bomb (meaning i'll get a scolding from dad AGAIN cuz of the cost of the thing even if it's necessary) - the braces by the side costs over 1K+++ already!!! - the cost of full braces is like 3K+++?!?!?! LIKE WTF! i dun even wanna go for the necessary treatment thing! D: dad's SOOO gonna kill me one again D':*sobsob*
=[[[[
ok.. i am scared of the pain, the freaking injection for your gum thingy which i heard many people say.. is AWFUL.. CRAZY KILLING PAINFUL EXP!!! braces make me look like EWW? i HATE going to the dentist... i HATE the things they use to poke around..
basically.. it feels like im experiencing a cascading (sp?) effect.. from bad to worse.. what's after that.. horrible..?
OMG! can't take it anymore lahh.... really... and i really really hate dad's comments.. it's NOT like i wanna be LIKE THIS what.. not like i wanna have so many problems... it's not like i wanna go for all those treatments (which im really REALLY planning to just skip or something!!) and "waste" money on such unnecessary stuff what..
it's NOT like i care about my health or something...
and it's NOT like im gonna die if i dun go~ DDDD: i mean.. as long as i dun die... then what for go to such an extent?
*im such a money waster :'[*
glanced at the mirror at 2:31 PM
Sunday, November 22, 2009
"To Heal A Broken Heart"
my fav pic! (credits to regina)
booya! today's many MANY people's b'day so..
DES WISHES ALL BORN ON 22nd NOV!!! A HAPPY LOVELY BIRTHDAY!!!! :D
lol.. anyway.. today's a piss-off day for me.. honestly! got realllllyyyy MAD today.. >:(((((((( yesterday i slept at 2am cuz of my freaking disgusting medicine which i took like.. 5 min or more (LITERALLY!) staring at.. well.. knowing that i have to melt my medicine in water before eating it/them (and i dun wanna explain why for the tenth time or so... read my other posts...) when looking at the med.. it LITERALLY looks like vomit (no kidding..!) the colour and the look.. well.. if you think THAT'S disgusting! wait till you TRY placing that THING into you mouth.. the iron taste is ENOUGH to kill you.. the sour taste is enough to make you feel like you're drinking spoilt milk! the worst thing is that.. cuz you place it in your mouth right.. some iron thingy will remain in you mouth.. you gotta drink water after eating your pills right (or that's the case) imagine drinking blood.. the water tastes like the iron in your blood.. make it like A LOT stronger.. like you're drinking metal or something.. concentrated blood that flows like water.. and yes! it smells like blood too! yeappx.. that's what i've gotta go through.. PFFFFFFFFTTTTT!!! almost puked immediately after eating the med.. DDDDDDD:
so yea.. then.. there's the LACK of sleep.. went to church looking lethargic... AM tired..
went to have lunch at sub at expo and celeb sherman's b'day.. (so sorry for ruining today :C) then dad had to call me while i was ordering my food.. then i said "hold on" cuz i had to order my veggie.. and you must be fast or the person will give you a black face and a scolding (after all.. it's after svc!! and MANY people go sub to eat) so i ordered my veggies.. and talked on the phone! immediately got a scolding! "i ask you where you are you say "tomato, cucumber!!"" and my mind was literally going "WTF!!! it's not like dad doesnt know i DON'T GO HOME TO EAT LUNCH WHAT EVERY SUNDAY RIGHTTTT??!?!!" then i had to choose my sauce right.. but cuz i was SOOO furious and dad is talking at i had to order and they dun hav red wine sauce thing!! i said sweet onion and MUSTARD!EFFING MUSTARD!!!!! so i had wasted 7.50 on my meal.. i was eating and chomping down my food... some ingredients were falling out of my sandwich which made me even more angry! and i had this black face look! the white chip mac was hard :CCCCCCC i like soft cookies.. but that was HAAARDDDD :CCC
went home.. to face dad who wanted me to help wash the floor when i AM LETHARGIC and about to just faint =__= (exaggerating) so i didnt care.. went to sleep.. woke up with an angry dad who i just realised, scolded my mum on the phone while she was working just because he couldnt find something!! and i was like WTH!!! D:< then dad scolded me cuz i want to sleep instead of helping.. so i was like.. FORGET IT! i dun care anymore..
went to use the comp and accidentally deleted the band attendance list and i had to redo like later! and i was literally like screaming in my head.... EFFFFFF!!!!! gotta also do the farewell attendance like.. LAST MIN!!! and then while doing dad scold me again cuz i was using the comp and they cant go for dinner cuz i was using the comp! and i had to do that farewell list which i almost thought i cant cuz i lost the list... managed to fin it when dad scold me and say he damn angry cuz i always "like that"... LIKE WTH! NOT LIKE I WANT TO DO LOR! I OSO WANT TO GO EAT!!! BUT I GOTTA FIN IT MY TODAY CUZ CHER WANT IT TODAY AND ONLY TOLD ME TODAY RIGHT?!?!?!?!?! and yea..
was all grumpy throughout the day..
haiz.. and today's sermon was bout core strength for success in life.. and here i am.. really feel like quitting prefect and band and all those stuff.. i was literally thinking of NOT going to church anymore cuz i just dont wan anymore criticism from even the closest people in my life! this WAS what was going through my mind.. really... why is it that every time i go to church or cg, i will always get scolding from my parents.. really feel like im hated because of this! like being a christian brings so much emotional "pain"... every time i go for svc or cg.. i always feel so scared of getting scolded becuz i come home late.. but if i always come home early, my dad will want me to come home even earlier.. every time after svc or cg, im always having to RUSH all the way home.. sometimes i even have to take taxi home! just to get home "on time?" taxi fares arent cheap.. gotta sacrifice meals to pay for them! when dad gets angry.. i feel SO SCARED not because he'll throw me out of the house (which i had experience before) or he'll cane me or throw nasty words at me! my heart keeps pounding.. i fear that dad would stop me from going to church! persecution.. maybe others can endure this.. but i really really find it too hard to endure through anymore! it's like.. i have to "ren" everything that comes.. all those nasty words... why? because i LOVE going to church.. i LOVE CG.. i LOVE God! and i LOVE Jesus! and i don't wanna do anything that might stop me from going to church.. or even getting my church friends into trouble with my angry dad! and YES! dad had told me before that if any cg member were to call me, he would scold them over the phone.. and THAT scared me more than anything! but now.. im really REALLY feeling very tired and sickened by the fact that i had to go through ALL THIS! and i really really just... wanna stop going for all this..just wnna give up the fight! NOT becuz i dun love church or anything... i still love them.. but... i really feel like... i just wanna give up everything.. even my health speaks for itself.. YES! i AM worried... i even had to go to the hospital for a check up but i KNOW that the results will be "desiree is okay.. there's nothing wrong with her" and then i have to go through all the scans and wateva.. pay like.. lotsa money just for this.. why not just LET ME BE???? if there's something wrong.. then there's something wrong.. if there isnt (like waht i was told before) THEN JUST LET ME BE! if im stressed.. then JUST LET ME BE!!! now i really REALLY dont care about my health.. im like always saying this "die jiu die lor.. it cant be helped anyway.." i don't really care... that's why i dun care if i skip my meals.. or if i dun eat my med regularly... I DONT CARE!
sometimes i really wonder if im suffering from depression and i KNOW when im gonna have depression or NOT!
but i'll keep telling myself that i'll keep on pressing on.. i'll keep on praying and i'll stand strong.. even when im weak..
True Worshippers - Captivated
*it's so difficult... but i'll try to stand strong...*
glanced at the mirror at 8:37 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
GALA GALA GALA!!!~
yoyo! had gala dinner performance yester! FUN!!!
haha! the prep part wasnt.. LOL! carrying and shifting the instruments... moving them up and down!
saw paul, bt and jem at suntec.. OH NO!! im unproper band uni! XPP
the waiting part for the performance was FUN! boring but fun! cam whored like... CRAZYYYYYYYY!!!
lol! cant really describe much... anyway, pics tell us a thousand words.. pics in FB! ^^
i think i've really enjoyed the performance loH! it was fun! and i CAN PITCH MY NOTES CORRECTLY!!!! ^^ <33 YAY!!! so proud of myself! HEHEHEH!
also gave the roses we made to the alumni and guests.. and our LOVELY bouquet of roses to jon oh and mrs chua! ^^ haha! that made the place even more lively?
received roses from jinghui and sj! SO... THANK YOU!! ^^
hmm..
saw glenn and KC at 11+pm at suntec!!! and i was literally SHOCKED! so late! haha! just to see ... ... ... awwww so SWEET!~ hahahaa! :P
was supposed to reach ch at 11.15 but we LEFT suntec at that time.. LOL! eventually got everything back into the band room!
THANKS BAND MEMBERS FOR HELPING OUT WITH THE INSTRUMENTS!
and reached home at 12+AM! ^^ bathed and ate supper (<3) had my medicine.. and IRON pills are like the worst tasting pills you'll EVER TAKE! sour and iron-y! ewwwwwwwwwww.....
slept at 2am..
woke at 9am..
SO SLEEEEEEEEEEEPPPYYYYY!!
sad most likely our last performance for band liao :[[[[[[ awwww... i love hsccb! ^^
*a lovely day indeed!*
glanced at the mirror at 12:16 PM
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
"ONE TIME?"
lol.. sorry bout the song.. fareha was like singing it and it kinda got into my head... well.. there was also paparazzi which i OBVIOUSLY am NOT putting on my blog.. haha!
today was band rehearsal thingy with the other performance in the hall.. quite boring.. most of the time was spent waiting.. haix! so we kinda played here and there.. laughed and laughed..
when we DID perform.. mrs chua doesnt seem happy.. haha! sorry.. i did make mistakes.. XP
then "break"
basically.. boring day for us..
went for lunch at WS kopitiam!!! and then went to get items for the roses to make for mrs chua and jon oh.. and alumni if we can make enough for them!
so yea..
they came to the void deck and learn how to make rose.. haha! quite good lah ^^
after that.. it was back to norm..
*normal.. is that good or bad?*
glanced at the mirror at 8:48 PM
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
"Where beauty unfolds itself?"
HELLO! wow today's a tiring day?
didnt appear for band cuz i had a health check-up appointment.. so i apologize for coming "late"!
hmm.. wa kinda ok.. took mum and I 1 hour to reach there.. anyway... KK was like kinda huge.. and 1st time went there so we were like a bit.. "huh?" kinda thing..
took heaight and weight and blood pressure thing.. not gonna tell ya.. ^^ but im ok! (I DIDNT GROW TALLER =[[[[[[)
waiting time was LONG!
anyway... finally went into the room and there was a female doc, a female nurse and 1 male doc (those type who's learning to be doc kinda thing.. GRAH!) talked a little and yea.. was told to take a urine test and blood test.. apparently, the blood test got me all ready for the urine test (and i know it sounds disgusting) HEY! i AM afraid of needles poking through my flesh and drawing out my blooood!
okay.. shall not talk about the urine test..
so yea.. the blood test was the worse.. got sooo scared that i was literally tapping my feet and shivering due to the cold air-con.. the nurse had to come up with a topic to talk about.. long story! anyway.. the nurse was like saying 'Don't worry.. it's just like an ant bite!" and i was thinking "RIIIIGGHHHTTTSSS =___= LIKE I'LL BELIEVE THAT!" well.. it WAS like an ant bite.. the arm felt numb for no possible reason.. also cuz i was too scared to move my arm! and it's SOOO COLD! then erm... it was ok talking to the nurse.. until i stared at her and caught a glimpse of that freaking needle and the blood filling up like half of it! haha! my blood looks black.. HAHAHA! very random.. anyway.. then after that i just dont know why but i was staring at the needle and the blood in that thing and it was like ewwww? took out the whole thing and used the cotton thing to cover the tiny little hole.. watched the nurse transfer the blood into 2 tube thingies.. and put them inside this bag which has the bio-hazardous sign on it.. i WANT that bag! so cool! HAHA!
then paid and wow.. pain!
anyway.. got my med and went to eat lunch!
rushed for band and played some songs.. then after band those who stayed behind had a little talk.. haha! jon's experience in the army.. rather funny!
home SWEET home! helped mum cooked some dishes...
bro saw some meteor things during the meteor shower from bout 8pm to 5am.. and i didnt get to see.. if you believe me (or rather.. my bro), stay up at around 3am and look at the sky.. bro said that it would have the most number of meteors or something... interesting.. maybe i'll be crazy to do that.. heheheheh! so yeappx!
*beauty!*
glanced at the mirror at 9:04 PM
Monday, November 16, 2009
"SLEEPY! =________= zZzZzZzZz"
BOO!
darn... been sleeping wayyyy tooo much... pfft XP
yesterday i spent the whole afternoon sleeping after a good lunch (YUMMMMYYY!!!!) svc was good =] and very very interesting!
hmm...
today went to meet up with paul, tim, enoch, jem, bt and sherman for breakfast.. didnt eat.. was doing some band stuff...
then went for band and played some songs! then kinda... slacked.. HAHA! played in the band room..
went out to da-bao lunch for the people waiting for the instruments to come... ermm.. was raining (SO SORRY! i sang today!) and we (emily and i) dont have umbrellas with us.. luckily, jeslyn had 1! so we squeezed our burger and fries into her bag.. "sheltered" the remaining food and kinda squeezed under the umbrella.. the left side of my body was soaked wet.. and emily's right side was soaked wet.. kinda fun.. until now.. regretting what i did.. HAHA! i feel sick :S darnnnnn... i never learn.. then we just sat down and talked for bout 2 hrs or so? and yea.. i hope we can some things done!
walked home with fareha and she's a very interesting girl i guess? funny but she's serious! haha! a nice girl to talk to bahx ^^
k.. so.. watched some anime with bro (cowboy bebop) and went to sleep =____= ZzZz.. HEHEHEH! DINNER WAS AWESOME!
hopefully i can get myself to start on some homework! grrrr! no motivation luhhh!
anyway, found this song on youtube.. heheh!
Something has changed within me Something is not the same I'm through with playing by the rules Of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes: and leap!
It's time to try Defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity And you wont bring me down!
I'm through accepting limits ''cause someone says they're so Some things I cannot change But till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of Losing love I guess I've lost Well, if that's love It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity And you wont bring me down!
I'd sooner buy Defying gravity Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity I think I'll try Defying gravity And never bring me down! bring me down! ohh ohhh ohhhh! //////////////////////////////////
*inspiration*
glanced at the mirror at 8:42 PM
Saturday, November 14, 2009
"WoW wOW!"
hello!!~ was online yester issit? O.o it seemed likeDAYS ago..
ohwells.. how's life so far?
im bored and... bored..
worried bout tue's health check-up! TSK! and i have to skip band for it.. haixxxx..... XP
mon gg out with cg members to play board games!! yippiiieee~! anyone wanna join us? HAHA!
went for band prac EARLY EARLY in the morn =__= *yawns* it was fun.. had to endure the hunger thingy but it was ok.. just tiring.. 9 SONGS! 9 SONGS! WOW! tiring!
and had a WOW! moment just now during cg.. enoch didnt preach.. instead, we had ALICE! wonderful person. clear, super fast preaching of the word.. ermm.. although P&W as well as testimony part was a little.. diff? HAHA! but it was GOOD!! ^^ had like 2 cgs joining us.. filled the whole living room and it was just like WOW? the only negative part was.. we don't know each other so.. it was like.. ermm.. strangers everywhere? well.. the 2 cgs have super smart ppl i guess? 1 of them is from RJC! whoa!
haha! and ALICE is a teacher.. coooooooool!!! ex students under her.. SUPER COOL!! HAHA!
tmr there's svc! lol.. so tired..
hope you people out there are enjoying yourselves for the holi!! =]
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow
Tonight you're mine completely You give your love so sweetly Tonight the light of love is in your eyes Will you love me tomorrow?
Is this a lasting treasure Or just a moment's pleasure? Can I believe the magic of your sighs? Will you still love me tomorrow?
Tonight with words unspoken And you say that I'm the only one, the only one, yeah But will my heart be broken When the night meets the morning star?
I'd like to know that your love Is love I can be sure of So tell me now, cause I won't ask again Will you still love me tomorrow? Will you still love me tomorrow? Yeah ///////////////////////////////////////////////////
