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An Original Piece of Art.
♥ DeS =]
16 YrS YOUNG
D.O.B ~ 9 FeB
AqUaRiuS
Ex HaI~SiAn/ (1e3-2e3-3e1-4e1 '10) BaNd AlUmNi-TuBiSt/ PrEfEcT - AdViSoR/ MemBEr Of E501 <33 Blue lover<33 
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Sunday, April 25, 2010 @ 10:39 PM Trials and Tribulations? sometimes.. i realised that i really really need to stop this. haix.. many things happened. this week's napfa test was ok.. it was great.. i think it's the best actually. thank God im fit.. lol. im not the usual type who exercises. well.. i guess i've been too stressed out i'd nearly gone crazy (ok.. maybe not YET..) been really really stressed out.. why? i don't know. maybe i fear so much that im not gonna do well.. faith level plummeted (may be the wrong use of words) in fact.. i havent really revised the subs yet.. and im like.. behind schedule.. that's why i got sooo upset and stressed.. maybe im too focused on studying.. i've really neglected the rest of me.. the entertainment needs.. the rest.. the FOOD! yea.. broke down quite a few times.. (well.. thank God again for enoch's ipod.. that i can listen to worship songs...) sat.. went to KK to visit mum and fetch her home.. ^^ yay! her OP was OKAY! ^^ PRAISE GOD! yea... okay.. then got upset at night for some reason. today morning wasnt in a good mood.. woke up to just look through SS to see what needs to be studied. immediately, my mums at in front of me.. and i KNOW she's worried bout me XC in fact.. i DO KNOW that my parents are VERY EXTREMELY worried bout me... but i guess all i had in mind was STUDY STUDY STUDY... tried to put an "ok" face for the rest to see.. but deep inside.. i was really really very upset, afraid and "empty"... so upset with myself.. couldnt sing during praise.. just couldnt... tried but cant.. instead i teared during praise.. worship was like me pouring buckets full or salty tears.. and well.. thank God again for Huey ping.. thanks DA JIE for always being there with me... Loves you SO much! and Dr kim came today... (it's Dr rite?? :X) but what amazes me is that although it can be a bit hard to understand.. but the words that are important.. just seem to be able to catch them easily.. this message was just FOR ME! it's like.. after worship, pst asked bout those who fear, are upset, disappointed.. and the msg was about 4 things God dislikes.. and 1 of them is to "STOP trying".. and with the addition of "MUST REST even when we are trying". and it's like WOW.. in fact, i've really wanted to stop studying and just fail my MYE. (it SEEMS like an easier route) and i Don't rest.. mugger chiongster is me! i study from morning till night. eat for 15 min-30 min.. then continue studying kinda thing.. till 11pm+... too determined bah.. so im trying to break this "habit" of mugging without rest. im really trying.. im trying to study my best.. yet rest too.. so if i really look tired or sound tired.. pls just remind me nicely to rest. NICELY!! cuz i really need reminders. and please please PLEASE pray for me that i dun breakdown.. Dear God, i thank you for your love for me. and i KNOW that you'll bless me wherever i go. my grades Don't determine who i am.. it's You who determines who i am. i pray that in the midst of studying, the Holy spirit will be by my side to guide me and to teach me. teach me how to trust in You that things will be okay. take away all the fears and give me a peaceful heart, God. i KNOW that my dreams will come to past. All things work for Good for those who love Him. no matter what results i get, i pray that it'll not affect me. But it'll be a stepping stone for me to achieve my desires. i thank You for your Love and your presence. i Thank You for my friends who support me and help me.. i thank You for such loving parents. Thank You. Amen. |