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Friday, March 12, 2010 @ 8:54 PM


:C

so much negativity!

woke up feeling horrible!
the alarm clock hasnt rung yet! =_=
and i was soooo tired!
did duty and thought it's the last day..
but it appeared that it's not really true =_=

lessons as per normal.
struggling to stay awake most of the time..

SPA was a total disaster.
set up wrongly.
did the experiment wrongly.
had only 20 min to redo EVERYTHING! and i dun even hav a graph.
STUPID scales just don't seem to work.
i panicked.
left with 5 min.
felt like giving up.
put my head on the table.
cher kinda encouraged me to continue.
drew my axes and wrote title graph.
and if i wasnt given extra time (thanks cher!) i would've failed..
then handed in to cher.
and cried immediately.
and thank GOD cher didnt scold me.
just asked bout my mistake.
went to the toilet with zay.
and came back with red eyes.
feeling extremely extremely sad AND afraid!
calmed down.
but i still feel extremely stressed...
dunno if i'll fail my SPA.
FAIL MY SPA! DDDDD':

went out for lunch.
had no appetite.
but i ate.

HaiOlympics.
played the games.
and kinda cheered up.

came home.

mum told me a "bad" news.
i got worried bout this 'news' which im NOT gonna talk about.
but im extremely worried.
to the extent that i cried once more cuz i got sooo worried..

cried twice today.

dad came home (faking(?)) pissed off thingy cuz my mum was in the toilet and couldnt answer his telephone call..
then he said some things which were very very very... i dunno.. it hurts to me even though it isnt about me.
and i got soooooo angry i felt like telling straight in his face to withdraw whatever he said and say SORRY!
because it really wasnt "funny".
everyday only talking bout THAT thing.
i wonder what would happen if THAT thing happened to ________ or me!
i wonder if he could actually laugh at it!
:C

i feel so negative.
i dun like this week at all!
really!

i cant wait to get out of this freaking school life.
get away from this SPA that's really really gonna get me all screwed up in just 1 hour.
get away from stupid mugging.
get away from all this examiners' observations when you are ALL ALONE struggling to survive ON YOUR OWN with all those stupid papers!
I DON'T EVEN WANNA THINK ABOUT GETTING INTO JC... THAT'S IT!
IT'S POLY!!!
it's project work and not mugger work!




*wishing... praying... hoping....*